![]() ![]() Have you ever seen any negative effects of introducing BDSM into your relationship? They can really help you get off to a good start. I think sex therapists are incredibly helpful. I’m a big advocate for getting help outside the bedroom. Say: “I’m interested in getting a little bit more playful in the bedroom - maybe some role playing or spanking.” Or if you feel comfortable enough, I would just talk to your partner - and recommend starting out small. I’d recommend going to a sex-positive sex therapist and talking it out there. How should one partner broach the subject of trying out BDSM? When they’re just starting out, they must discuss the scene in advance and lay out what’s going to happen. The scene played out shouldn’t be organic until they’ve done it enough so they know each other’s limits. ![]() They also are supposed to talk beforehand. I work with the couples to create a safe word - meaning whenever one of them says that word, what’s going on must stop. How can couples stay safe - and consensual - while trying out BDSM?īDSM play is always consensual. You can always just dip your toe in - and that will still add a level of erotic energy to sex play with your partner. You can go as heavy as you want - as long as it’s consensual. But, in reality, BDSM covers everything from playful role-playing to spanking to tying up your partner and teasing them with a feather. There’s absolutely nothing to be afraid of when it comes to BDSM. ![]() Here’s one scenario: one person - playing the dom (the person in power) can pretend to be the CEO of a company and the submissive can be an employee. You can have a session with a dom, who will demonstrate the ropes and different types of exercises you can do in the bedroom. I also frequently refer my clients to doms, and let the doms show them the safe way to play. I would check those out and do some research. So, how can a couple that’s never tried BDSM before organically introduce it into their relationship? Or, if one partner had a bad sexual experience in the past, I prescribe it as a way to give that partner back some feeling of control. I often prescribe BDSM for power struggles or control issues. So I gave them assignments where she would “dom” him in the bedroom. He was totally dominating her in the relationship. So I met with them individually and found that their relationship was a total power struggle. They had been married for about ten years. She said she wasn’t attracted to her husband anymore and that she thought their marriage was over. I recently had a couple come in recently and the wife was in tears. BDSM is an expression of one’s uniqueness of their sexuality, and I always find that our BDSM couples are very blessed because they’ve found a partner that is a good fit for them.īut I also help vanilla couples introduce BDSM into their relationships, sometimes, in a bid to save their unions. Jones: For couples already involved in it, they’re no different from any other couple. Motto: What impact can BDSM have on relationships? ![]()
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